The One Who Fears

Today in our study on idols, the lesson concentrated on fear. And here is the interesting concept we are pondering - is fear an idol or the cement that bonds us to an idol. I had never really explored fear as a bonding agent before.

In our country today, fear is the basis of many of our life choices, daily habits, media focus...I mean it is EVERYWHERE!!! We have to eat right for fear of cancer or obesity or heart disease. We have to lock our doors and don't speak to strangers because we can't trust anyone. We take an extra 2 hours at the airport for fear that the airplane will be used as a terrorist statement. We worry and fear for our children's education because we fear they will not be able to become gainfully employed. We fear becoming bankrupt or not being able to support ourselves in our retirement. We fear other countries, we fear people who are different from us, we fear, fear, fear....in fact we fear SO MUCH that it has become an accepted state of mind. Fear has become the new normal. HOW DID WE GET THIS WAY!!!

Now to think that fear is a bonding agent, holding us tightly to our idols - that means that the idols are so numerous that we don't even recognize how much we have pushed God out of the way...

As we were asked today to review several scriptures that deal with fear. They were small slices of passages - from both the Old and New Testaments, and one thing that struck me was throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites were instructed to Fear God...but then in the New Testament, this all changed. Jesus often said - Fear Not, Do Not Be Afraid, etc. etc....so why did this change? Well, one thought I have is that if fear is a bonding agent - then it was most appropriate for God to tell the Israelites to fear HIM, the one and only God. The fear is what bound them to Him instead of other gods...but then the GOOD NEWS comes to us through Jesus - and through Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, God resides in us - so he is bound to us outside of fear. The need for the bonding agent has been replaced by the infusion. We are born again and need fear no more.....I love that (but oh if I could just live that!)

My favorite scripture, of the ones we studied on fear was 1 John 4:18 but to get the full effect, it is important to go back and read starting at verse 15:

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God is in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement; in this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

I LOVE this scripture - it is the Gospel in a nutshell...and it perfectly complements another of my favorite scriptures from John - John 15:10-11:

If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my fathers commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

So to put this all in terms I can relate to (in my very limited brain) - it's like that old kid's game rocks/paper/scissors...seriously.

Love is paper
Our Heart is the rock
Scissors are fear

Love wraps around the heart - but can be "cut" by fear
The Heart can beat Fear

For The Glory of God

Well, I am stuck...

In this first week of the study "No Other Gods" we are asked to reflect on our skills, talents, resources, passions and areas of expertise. Well - I am stuck on what my "talent" is...

It is not like I can do anything that is an obvious "talent" - I don't sing, dance or write poetry. I am not an artist or actress. I can't use power tools. I don't have a knack for decorating. I am a fair cook - but not by any stretch a chef. I really would never consider entering a talent show.

So - I am stuck...can't figure out the answer to the talent question. But is talent really important? Maybe having no talent is a blessing...it keeps me more on the track of humility. Because I think if I had a real awesome talent I might be tempted to become prideful or selfish. Perhaps I would start taking full credit for whatever product my talent created. Perhaps my talent would become one of my idols - consuming my life while I basked in the shining light of myself. The spotlight would be turned on me instead of outward as a reflection of God.

But I am not off the hook with no talent - it doesn't allow me to reduce my efforts or excuse my inaction because 1 Corinthians 10:31 says "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." SO - WHATEVER I DO (talentless person that I am) should be for the glory of God. Now this is a different can of worms to work through.

How do I do all things for the glory of God? What does that look like? How do I shine God's light outside myself into the world? How do I use the (minimal) skills I posses to further HIS glory - not my own? These are all "heart" questions and can be piercing realities to sift through. I have no answers now, but hope to at least dig down a level or two.

Today - in a book I am reading "After You Believe" by N.T. Wright, this quote struck home with me as to the reason we are asked to have no "idols" and why it is so critical to become God centered and evaluate my own skills and talents for their purpose:

"...just as ancient rulers might place statues of themselves in far-flung cities to remind subject peoples who was ruling them, so God has placed his own image, human beings, into his world so that the world can see who its ruler is. Not only see, but experience. Precisely because God is the God of generous, creative, outflowing love, his way of running things is to share power, to work through his image-bearers, to invite their glad and free collaboration in his project."

Image-bearer of God...now that is something to ponder. God does not want us to craft idols in any form because WE are his statues. WE reflect Him to the world....

Peacock Feather or Violin

Lately I have been practicing Centering Prayer - a special prayer practice that is similar to meditation but with a different destination point. In meditation, one quiets the soul in a search for total self awareness - but in Centering Prayer one is silencing oneself in a search for total God awareness. Meditation - all about self... Centering Prayer - all about God.

The struggle against self has always been the biggest obstacle in my spiritual journey. It always seems to come back to this. This is why I am appreciating this time working on Centering Prayer. In order to reach the point of equanimity - where you reach full realization that there is nothing that is NOT God - I have to push my "self" out of the way. That's a lot of pushing for me...

In one of the books I am reading on Centering Prayer - "Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening" the author Cynthia Bourgeault warns to be wary of peacock feathers - those times when your ego is smugly glowing within its comfort zone. This can be tricky stuff - because sometimes these peacock feathers can seem like really good things - the high from a "God Moment" that you want to share with others, satisfaction that you did the right thing, serving diligently in church, helping others - all these can be peacock feathers if "self" is the center of the story and not God. The thing about peacock feathers is that they can be admired by others, and are truly beautiful to look at, but they are only important to and controlled by the peacock - and they don't invite others to join in.

Now violins on the other hand are more representative of where the Centering Prayer will take you. Violins produce beautiful soothing melodies that allow music from the Master to flow into the surrounding and be absorbed by those within its hearing. Violins promote harmony and community (even symphonies !). A violin requires dependency on the violinist to play the notes and recognizes it is useless without the Master - and that any recognition is not for the violin itself, but for the music it helps to create.

Quieting the inside noise

I have been spending this summer learning about prayer - particularly about Centering Prayer. More on that will come in a future blog post once I have absorbed and digested all I am processing. In the meantime I came across the most awesome poem that speaks to where I am right now in my journey. I never really thought about the danger of "spiritual materialism" - that desire to repeat spiritual experiences just for the sake of acquiring them the same as we would acquire other goods. It didn't occur to me that this could actually begin to build a wall between myself and my Master. So that is what I am processing through right now, how to become pure in the cave of my heart as well as the cave I occupy on earth...

This poem is by Rabindranth Tagore:

Time after time

I came to your gate with raised hands,
asking for more and yet more.

You gave and gave, now in slow measure, now
in sudden excess.

I took some, and some things I let drop; some
lay heavy on my hands;

Some I made into playthings and broke them
when tired;

Till the wrecks and hoards of your gifts grew
immense, hiding you, and the ceaseless
expectation wore my heart out.

Take, oh take - has now become my cry.

Shatter all from this beggar's bowl;

Put out the lamp of the importunate
watcher

Hold my hands, raise me from the
still gathering heap of your gifts

Into the bare infinity of your uncrowded

Presence

Micah 6:8

Micah 6:8 is a tiny scripture in word count, but a towering mountain in Word meaning. As Mike Moses told us this week at worship, Micah 6:8 stands tall amongst other scripture when we are reading to understand how we should live as Godly people.

I love this scripture - it is a prime example of the paradox of the Word. On a surface level it appears simple enough, but the very nature of the statement draws the reader in to savour and chew on the meaning. Three simple phrases combined in such a way that we realize, just as with the Trinity itself, to follow their direction requires a unique intertwining that creates a completeness that can't be accomplished when held separately.

Do Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly...this is how we are to live.

The first thing to jump out at me as I read this scripture is the associated verb with each noun. DO justice, LOVE mercy, WALK humbly. How do I DO justice? What does it mean to LOVE mercy? And how do I WALK humbly?

It seems that each of these three expectations are dependent on each other, and while justice and humility have outward definable actions, it is the mercy that gently weaves between them creating a magical tapestry.

It is interesting that the prophet did not say SHOW mercy - he said LOVE mercy. Loving mercy is an inward, soul defining action. You must LOVE mercy with such a passion that it exudes your every action. When you LOVE mercy, there are no questions to what you should do in any situation...and when you LOVE mercy doing justice and walking humbly are natural outcomes.

If I LOVE mercy, my natural inclination will be to help those who are the weak and vulnerable and in need of mercy. In order to gain their trust I must WALK humbly, never implying that they are any less of a person than I am. Once in this relationship of trust, I can better understand cicumstances and issues that might improve or prevent continued vulnerability - and then I can DO justice by helping to bring awareness to injustices that exist.