Back to Work!

As we are working through this study of the book of Esther, I have at times wondered why the title wasn't "Mordecai" instead - it seems that underlying all the action in this book is the character of Mordecai. He has provided the leadership example of someone who is secure in their relationship with God.

This is no small detail as we wonder about Mordecai's biography. He was completely raised outside the Hebrew culture - in captivity. While the traditions and beliefs would have been handed down to him, it would not have been in the same context as his ancestors since he was living in an alien land (by choice) and therefore was not surrounded by those of the same belief, but instead he daily worked and dealt with those who worshipped many other gods. In spite of these surroundings, Mordecai's faith was secure.

I marvel at the sequence of the events we have seen from the announcement of the decree in chapter 4 for the annihilation of the Jews. Mordecai's actions are a lesson to each of us on the stages of response as we release our tribulations to God's will.

First Mordecai dressed in sackcloth and begain weeping and mourning loudly in the streets. He was projecting his sorrow out as far as he could. He wanted to bring attention to God of his fears, worries and grief over what was to come. That is a proper response for any of us in times of hopelessness - we must bring these emotions out and present them to God.

But, it is the next actions that teach the most to me about faith. After he has advised Esther and hears her response, he goes from outward wailing to inner reflection with the three day fast and prayer. The fast, which would seem to be a physically weakening action actually serves as a strengthening agent. During this time of fast and prayer Esther wasn't the only one who received the inner fortitude to carry out God's plan. In chapter 6 we begin to see that Mordecai also has achieved an inner calm that allows him to flow within the Spirit to be carried through the circumstances.

Can't you just imagine his inner trembling when Haman brought the royal robes and horse to him? I wonder what his first thoughts were when he was told to put them on and get on the horse. We don't get to know specifically what he did, but I imagine that at this point he was fully relinquished to God's hand. I imagine that while he was paraded through the street with the chorus of "This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor", that Mordecai secretly in his heart received this as a sign from God that He had heard their plea and was working a plan for redemption to save the Jews from destruction. I am certain that Mordecai was humbled by the awareness of this awesome acknowledgement and would have been filled with a sudden calming spirit that allowed him to go right back to work at the kings gate as if nothing had happened...

What a lesson for me. Instead of presenting my prayers and concerns and then continuing to try to solve them myself, if I truly turn them over to His will I can just go on living my daily life with an eye out for how God is responding. Rather than force the actions I should sit back and receive them. Flowing instead of forcing. Trusting instead of worrying.

Who Knows?

DESTINY

Seven small letters forming a word with such huge impact.

Destiny is a scary word. It implies greatness and helplessness at the same time.
To me, destiny is associated with significance. To fulfill a destiny, to follow a destiny, to be "destined" to be part of something has always implied an action within an event of such magnitude that only God could have mandated the circumstances. Destiny requires big decisions - major crossroads, and complete releasing of self into the winds of circumstance (or the Spirit of God).

Destiny is something that real important people come to realize - but maybe not the average, everyday, middle class citizen - right? Not so sure about that...

I like the word PURPOSE better than destiny. It fits my lifestyle more. It is not such a scary, weighty, intimidating word. When I think of finding my purpose, it implies to me that I have found what I am supposed to be working on (or in), my purpose is my reason I am here - and for some reason I can relate much more in my daily living to a "purpose" than to a "destiny". Perhaps because daily living in a purposeful life still requires that I have input, I make choices, I have more control (and as a "Type A" that is a big factor). With destiny - it seems that the control has been handed over completely to God, and so with destiny,in my mind, we are working on something either bigger than life or concluding the purpose of life.

But maybe I am wrong about destiny - and who it applies to. Maybe each of us, the great and the not so great, have a destiny. It doesn't have to be something that becomes world renowned, heroic, or of giant magnitude. Maybe it is just a simple gesture or act of kindness - or maybe that I listen carefully each day for that pressing on my heart so I can be a small tooth on the giant gear of life that continues the momentum of the church in mission. Maybe that is destiny too.

I am always amazed when there are serendipitous moments in my life. I attribute them to the Spirit, and sometimes I see God smiling down because He knows I just need a little extra help getting the point ;-) but in my morning time I work through two different devotion books and here are the excerpts from October 10:

"We need to find our place in God's purpose, receptive and open to His direction and inspiration; and all creation waits as it were on tiptoe in excited anticipation of what can happen if we assume the destiny for which we were created, and stand as 'sons of God'. We become 'Christ carriers'. (From "Aiden Readings: October 10" from the book "Celtic Daily Prayer")

Ezekiel 37:14 - I will put my spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it declares the Lord

"The ability to let go, to abandon oneself in faith and obedience, creates a heart that is docile and humble. Both notions are fairly foreign to our independent, stubborn, self reliant spirits. Both virtues are fairly absent in our assertive, self-confident, self-indulgent circles. But uncovering their meaning and their message to us twentieth century Christians is crucial for a spirituality of our times." From "Every Bush is Burning" by John Puls

So I have been given much to ponder...I don't find it any small coincidence that these quotes were delivered during the same week I am studying about DESTINY in the book of Esther.

A Broad Brush

All day today I have been contemplating this statement from Beth Moore:

"God calls us by name. Satan and his hordes see us as numbers."

WOW. That single statement can be applied to a lot of issues in our contemporary society. Isn't this exactly part of the problem in America today? Mass generalizations made, painting people with broad brush strokes of assumptions without recognizing individuals? Doesn't it seem that we categorize people first, make judgements on what they represent and decide whether we will like them or not based on what box we have placed them in?

That is how to whip a frenzy, that is how to create dissension, that is how to accelerate hatred and meanness, by eliminating the personal stories. By painting a group of people with broad brush strokes of stereotypical fodder we force our own preconceived image of their motivations and opinions without giving them benefit of providing unweighted input. This is why there is so much anger and vehemence rising in the public dialog in our country.

And that is SO NOT Jesus' way is it...throughout the gospels we see that Jesus works one on one. He listens individually to each persons story. He responds individually to each of their needs. One-on-one. That is the way to the truth and to true relationship.

It is easy to get caught up in painting with broad brush strokes. Personal relationship takes so much time and intention - are we working this essential out of our society by our very "business"? Can we get it back before it is too late? When was the last time I just chucked my "to do list" and called a friend to sit down for a chat - no purpose, no agenda, no special reason...just to visit. Better yet, when have I ever attempted to do the same with someone I perhaps didn't agree with philosophically or politically in order to really hear their point of view? It is something I think I need to ponder and pray over.

Circles of Influence

Much of my reflection time this week has concentrated on the uncanny correlation between this Bible study of Esther and the sermon series at church.

The first two chapters of Esther provide very concrete evidence of the importance of our circle of influence in our lives. Xerxes is a perfect example of the dangers of surrounding ourselves ONLY with those who think the exact same as we do. Our very humanness requires that we continue to challenge our thoughts and also our convictions.

So - first the lesson from Xerxes as I see it...

Chapter 2 of Esther begins: "Later when the anger of King Xerxes had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her." With the knowledge of context that Beth Moore has provided, this scripture TAKES ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING from what would be inferred if we just read the scripture as a continuance from the conclusion of Chapter 1.

When taken in the context of history, we realize that "Later" was FOUR YEARS LATER, and the "anger of King Xerxes" may also have been referring to the results of 4 failed conquests of the King into the surrounding Greek empire. The entire purpose of the King in Chapter 1 was to not only display his power to all, but to gather them in to support his efforts to expand the empire. We know from Chapter 1 that he had surrounded himself with "yes men", trusted advisors who pumped up his ego and always wanted to make him happy. That is a huge danger, especially when in a position of leadership. So note in Chapter 1 - who was the only person who didn't do this? Queen Vashti! She "refused" to come when beckoned. We never really know why, but now in Chapter 2 perhaps we have another clue. Four years down the road, King Xerxes "remembered what she had done and what he had decreed about her" I actually think the second part of the scripture is more signficant - and offer a contrarian interpretation of the first part. Perhaps what King Xerxes was "remembering" was that Queen Vashti had been the only one in his life that dared to challenge his thoughts and whims. Perhaps he was slowly realizing that he needed someone around who questioned him rather than blindly following and supporting him. These significant failures needed someone to blame and he didn't have anyone around him to lay blame on except himself...dangerous situation for someone with such ego.
And since he was "remembering what he had decreed" he also realized that he lost the resource of bringing her wisdom back to the picture. He had no advisor who would be honest and provide necessary challenges to work through his wacky ideas.

Instead of wise council, Xerxes has his "seven dwarfs" who are continuously working to keep him happy. What a disservice - but totally understandable from a survival perspective. If they allowed the king to be unhappy too long, his ego would require that he find someone to blame and they would not want it to be themselves!! So of course right away they suggest he find a replacement. What a great diversionary tactic! I can imagine the seven nobles in their private time coming up with this idea. Let's get him a queen, let's keep him occupied with the "try-outs" as long as we can to stop this other nonsense of going to war...

How perfect! Keep the king occupied with checking out beautiful virgin after virgin.,,sort of "The Bachelor" on steroids!!! I am sure that in all this ego feeding frenzy of working through the virgins, someone else would be left to running the empire -and I am quite certain those seven nobles were working hard on that.

Xerxes need for his ego to be fed, to be constantly confirmed in his convictions, to be reminded how powerful he was, was actually depleting his power instead.

Now - how do I apply this to myself?

Well, as a type "A" personality, I too suffer from the need to be challenged, to be questioned, to be forced to dig deeper into my motives and actions. On a very personal level, this issue is at work in my family as we deal with the issues surrounding my parents. While one sister is challenging what we are doing, do I personally consider her objections or do I just blindly discount them because they oppose my own convictions. Is there truth that I might miss by not listening critically to what she has to say?

How about within my church?

I think that as a church, especially one as large as LFC, we can also become complacent, satisfied with the status quo, not questioning our own actions. This particular challenge was brought home to me this very week. I was blessed with meeting a woman who came from very far away (across an ocean and much of western Europe) to explore a conviction in her heart that an area in OUR VERY BACKYARD was in need of the HOPE of Christ. She wants to begin a mission in a trailer park right down the street from our church. How is it that someone from 6000 miles away can see a need in our very neighborhood? Here is her video:

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Now the challenge to LFC (and me personally), is how to respond to this questioning of ourselves. Will we discount her because she is not from within? Will we determine it is not our call and send her off? Will we reject her mission because it is not grand enough or romantic enough? Or will we take seriously the challenge presented, prayerfully request discernment and respond to the call within our community? I would like to hope that as a church we will not be like Xerxes and only listen to our own egos.

Once Upon A Time...

Life comes at you hard sometimes - and the past few months have been one of those times for me. So imagine my joy with the special gift of the book of Esther. A cuddly fairy tale located smack dab in the middle of the Bible! I have been reading this book while carrying the mental image of sitting in my dad's lap, with my head on his shoulder - a child again - just resting in his embrace, secure in the knowledge that I don't have to carry the world on my own shoulders. A good story always helped me sleep at night as a child and it is no different with this special scripture tale!

Chapter 1 has all the necessary elements of a traditional tale - there is a king, a queen and a magnificent palace. I can't quite categorize Queen Vashti yet - is she a good queen or an evil queen? What was she thinking by refusing to come when the king beckoned her? That would be a daring act even by today's standards! She is lucky to remain alive with that insubordination. I wonder why she did that?