One Of The Crowd

I was delivered an unexpected one-two punch today during Palm Sunday worship. Obviously not the normal reaction one might expect to be the result of worship - especially on a special holy day like Palm Sunday, but none the less, there I was pushed into a area of revelation that made me extremely uncomfortable. So much so, that it has been consuming my thoughts ever since I left church today.

As far as the service itself - well it was phenomenal (not an unusual happening at a church that literally swells with creative talent). And perhaps it was that very creative, unique combination of artistic and scriptural reflection that sent me to a new place in my heart.

Of course LFC in it's quirky, non-traditional norm, celebrated Palm Sunday with a Christmas carol - and maybe that is what set me up for my revelation. We sang "Joy To The World", one of my most favorite Christmas carols. Singing that Christmas carol really set me in the happy, joyous frame of mind. I could relate to the Jews who centuries ago laid their garment down on the ground welcoming their King into the city of Jerusalem. Joy to the world, the Lord is come!!! He is here! He is the Messiah!! I could really relate to those people and their excitement. I absolutely LOVED that we were singing a Christmas song at Easter time. It sort of brought the whole story together....

So there I sat in worship, at a peak of excitement, feeling the joy in my heart that a saviour had come, my saviour, our saviour....

Then we heard The Word. The story of Jesus last day. From his time in the garden and through his trials until he was condemned to be crucified. And that is exactly when I was struck with a blow so hard to my psyche that it was difficult to concentrate for a little while after.

The Word was presented to us through artistic narration. A series of readers presented the Word to us in a way that we could feel a part of the action. As the voice changed in the story, so did the narrator - which had the effect of drawing us, the audience, into the story as though we were living within it ourselves. I was caught up in the action as Jesus was taken from the garden and brought before Pontius Pilate. I could understand Pilate's political prowess as he presented two "Jesus" to the crowd - Jesus Barabbas and Jesus Christ. He would let the crowd make that decision, so there would not be any repercussions on him later.

It is at this very moment that I reached a pinnacle of understanding. As part of the presentation of the Word, the "crowd" voices actually cried out from all over our congregation "Crucify Him" over and over again "CRUCIFY HIM". It stunned me - to realize that I was part of that crowd. That same crowd that welcomed Jesus with joy and royal welcome was now demanding he be crucified. I had never in my life related myself to being part of that crowd...

In all my years of celebrating Easter, I have always sort of thought of the crowd in the Easter story as "those people" - they didn't know better, they didn't believe, they didn't realize who he was, they, they, they. But that crowd shouted out from within us..... that crowd is us..... I am part of that crowd.

Whoa - step back - that is not a thought for Palm Sunday....that is a deep, dark, lurking sort of thought. This is not "happy, slappy, clappy" church thinking. This is not love God, love Jesus, love everyone sort of "Christian" thinking. This isn't the type of thoughts you want to work through when you are planning to color Easter eggs and set out the baskets of candy. But it is what it is - and this is where I am.

I am one of the crowd.

And now that I have entered this passage of darkness, darker than any thought I have ever had or expressed before, I realize that this darkness is necessary for true understanding of The Cross and The Resurrection.

In my previous post I shared the revelation that I finally grasped that Jesus literally had lived the Jewish history and that his body literally served as a sacrifice for all they had experienced as a nation. But as a non-Jew, how does that relate to me?

It is through this crowd that I understand that Jesus died for me too. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do" - that covers me too.

I am one of the crowd.

As Christians, we are charged to be the light of the world. We can't be a light unless we understand the darkness.

I came to know a part of the darkness today - for which I am grateful, and because of which my understanding of Easter has much greater depth and meaning. This last week of Lent will be a time to work through this new understanding, to travel through the darkness without fear, but with faith - that at the end of this week I will see The Light, The Promise and The Hope of Easter.