Regardless of how long we've been Christians and how deeply we've studied God's Word, most of us don't really believe down in the marrow of our bones that God is entirely, wholeheartedly, and unwaveringly on our side.
I must admit, she caught me on this one! Many times as I sit in my private time, I picture God taking a deep sigh and sort of crossing His arms - with that "Here we go again" sort of expression on His face. I want to please Him so much - and yet I can easily get caught up in my own interpretations of His response to me. If my will is not accomplished, then the immediate conclusion is that God is not pleased with me - He likes the other person, group, competitor, side of the argument, more than my own...He must not be for me...I am not as important to Him as these others.
I love the gift of the scripture John 13:7 "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand". How often have I used that sort of phrase with my own children! And when I really sit and think, those times my prayers were NOT answered, wasn't that really the best thing for me? Most times down the road, my current NO was for a bigger YES in the future!
All this is easy to remember when you are not treading water just trying to stay afloat. But for true relational growth, amidst all the fears and frustrations, can I still remember that even when it appears God is not caring for me, He is still right by my side? Can I trust Him completely, do I truly believe He will pull me through? Or will I once again try to take matters into my own hands, determine the required results and move forward on my own? Or worse yet, when my life is running smoothly, or my desires are fulfilled - will I remember that these are God's will, and not my own accomplishments as well?
Romans 8:28 promises that God works ALL things for the good of those who love him. That is the treasure I must press into my own psyche - and keep it foremost in my heart. I must thank Him for my blessings, but also thank Him for caring enough about me to want the best for me - even when I can't see the benefits myself...
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2 comments:
Jaye, this is really good.
When I was doing Beth Moore's Breaking Free years ago I was shocked to discover that my core problem was deep down I found it hard to believe God loved me. She listed out several things we aren't believing when we are trapped/entangled ... I never got past that one.
When I wrestled with that core disbelief an entire new world opened up to me. :) Now it's the opposite - I'm unsure and uncertain of so much, but that one truth I am ROCK SOLID on! It makes all the difference.
These are some great reflections. Thanks for sharing them.
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