My Personal Passover

A highlight for me of the lenten season is to experience a Christian "Seder". This is a Christian version of the traditional Jewish Passover Seder (or Feast of Unleavened Bread). For those who might not be familiar, the Seder is the actual Passover meal that Jesus was participating in for the last supper. It is a traditional ritual that includes the reciting of the Haggadah - the retelling of the Israelite exodus from Egypt. It is a very scripted meal and every item on the Seder plate is representative of a portion of the story. When participating in a Christian Seder, the true meaning of the bread and the wine is experienced, and we become much more aware of what the 12 disciples would have understood Jesus to be telling them through His symbolism. For me, the Seder is the ultimate bridge between the Old and New Testaments and is what makes the Easter story even more amazing.

A big part in the preparation for the traditional Seder is the removal of all yeast from the home. Until viewing last night's video for our study, I didn't truly comprehend the significance of removal of the yeast. But now, with the understanding that ancient rabbis believed that leaven represents the evil impulses of the heart, and is symbolic of sin - how amazing is it to think that Jesus was so pure from sin, that even at his last meal it would have symbolically been removed from his presence in preparation for the meal he would share with his followers.

So, today I began thinking more of that yeast (sin) and how it is kneaded into the bread, quickly yet invisibly spreading completely throughout. How difficult it must be physically to remove all the yeast from our homes (or all sin from our lives!). Is my own sin that way? Sort of invisibly embedded throughout - so subtle that I can't really notice it?

This past Sunday, as Mike was teaching on the difficult subject of Hate, I remember thinking to myself - I think I have that one sort of purged from my heart. I have had personal experiences that really worked on that particular issue with me - and so I was actually considering that this is one of the sins that maybe I have under control. Now you would think that at my age I would know better than to be so (dare I say...) prideful! Of course, God wasn't going to let me sit still with that one - although I guess He did give me a 24 hour respite.

But then this morning, when I started to think of this subtle yeast, I began to contemplate on the ways that hate can start. It is those innocent little jokes about someone we discussed, or a sarcasm that may have been intended as a joke, or gossip that can even pervade prayer or be shared with the "best intentions". Hate can start that way - and it can (just like yeast) begin to grow and expand...if we don't take time to remove it from our homes (hearts).

Then I remembered that Jesus said..."You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment." So while on Sunday I was comfortable thinking that I had hate under control - I am now very uncomfortable thinking of all the little ways I have allowed hate to be carefully worked into my very core.

Now, in my own personal passover preparation, I am going to start searching for that yeast in my house. This one is so hard! Just today I began to catch myself so many times (especially in a political season) making hurtful or sarcastic comments. It is almost second nature! I have lots of work ahead of me. I may have to start a bakery with all the yeast I come across!!

On Sunday, Mike taught that the Psalms teach us that to be fully human, we must pray as we actually are - not who we think we should be. On Tuesday, Beth Moore taught us to "Be who you are". I don't think it is coincidence that these instructions were given twice in one week!

Authentic relationship is what God seeks. In preparation for this little revelation, He even sent me instructions. Last week, in my morning Daily Office, I was reading Psalm 141 each day. Each time I came to verses 3 and 4, I stopped for some reason. They really struck me and I could tell there was a message for me there:

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD

keep watch over the door of my lips

Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil,

to take part in wicked deeds

with men who are evildoers;

let me not eat of their delicacies.

I believe this scripture will need to be part of my yeast search strategy!